\tChinese girls are quite special due to the rich cultural heritage, very tender, considerate, kind and alluring. Their outlook on life is often different from westerners'. Here we provide 9 tips to date with Chinese girls.<\/p>\n
\t1. Know what you’re up against<\/strong><\/p>\n \tChina has enforced a one child policy since 1979. This and a preference for sons, means that 120 males are born for every 100 females. Many of those that made it past the abortionist’s scalpel have lost their goddamn minds.<\/p>\n \t2. Meeting them<\/strong><\/p>\n \ta) Social circles: Chinese people are inherently mistrustful of strangers since everyone is considered a potential swindler (with good reason in China). Being introduced by someone known makes a big difference.<\/p>\n \tb) Language exchange partners: Some of these women are open to sex. And they’ll likely speak English. Tier 1 cities will have English-language sites to place an ad, such as The Beijinger. Sub-tier cities have their own local sites (in Chinese) with classified sections. It is acceptable to openly request a female teacher.<\/p>\n \tc) Libraries: Yes, libraries. Particularly if you have access to one at a university.<\/p>\n \td) Lone shopkeepers: Chinese women are far more receptive when nobody is watching.<\/p>\n \tFor c and d, I’d open with “What does this say?” I show them a text message in Chinese, about a movie or whatever, and act like I can’t read it.<\/p>\n \te) Weixin: This is a cell phone application that allows you to see and communicate with others within a 1 kilometer radius. The disadvantage to this is that you won’t know what they look like right away.<\/p>\n \tIf you are crazy, like my Chilean roommate was, you can do what he did. He would wait for a response, then immediately send a naked photo of himself (he was short, bald and hairy). All recipients would initially act repulsed. Yet after a week or so of silence a handful of them would come back with, “Hey, haven’t spoken to you in a while.” That’s when you know it’s on. He must have had sex with six or seven girls this way. Through Weixin’s “shake the phone” function, he even had some woman offer to buy him a train ticket to Xi’an for a fling. Prepare to have your account suspended numerous times if you use this tactic.<\/p>\n \tf) Dating websites: There are heaps of them. A Chinese friend recommended Jiayuan.com which I used for a while. However, the site is only in Chinese and requires a Chinese bank account to pay for access. Tier 1 cities will have English-language sites more to the point such as We Live in Beijing. Such sites basically serve as a platform for foreign men to hook up with Chinese women.<\/p>\n \tg) Bars\/clubs: This is a less feasible option outside of tier 1 cities. The last Chinese city I was in, population about 1 million (tier 3), had only three bars and most of the women there were mercenaries, not volunteers. In China only “bad girls” go to bars, thus most avoid these venues.<\/p>\n \t3. Those married or with boyfriends are fair game \tElsewhere, if a woman tells you she is married or has a boyfriend it is a polite way of blowing you off. In China it’s just water under the bridge. It just means she can’t get caught. He’s probably just a host for her parasitical house-and-car ambition.<\/p>\n \t4. Use QQ \tThis is the most popular instant messaging platform in China. Chinese people are glued to this thing. It is easier, and more effective, to get QQ numbers than phone numbers. I hate instant messaging but at least this way it I could use Google Translate if I needed it. It has an English version, QQ International.<\/p>\n \t5. Arrange day rather than night dates, when possible \tThis helps avoid the chaperone—mostly a problem outside of tier 1. I can’t tell you how many times I met up with a chick who brought along a third wheel who just sat there playing Angry Birds on her cell phone the entire time. I once bought only two tickets to a movie I knew would sell out (Transformers 3) just so the chaperone would have to leave. Instead she waited outside of the theater for the entire two-plus hours of the movie. The best way to weasel out of this situation is to schedule something earlier when it is more likely that a chaperone is unavailable. Plus earlier dates give you more time to make it through The Dog and Pony Show (see below). Or you can bring a friend along to occupy the intruder.<\/p>\n \t6. Try not to get stood up \tChinese women aren’t just flaky, but will unremorsefully stand you up. Even if you just spoke with her 15 minutes earlier and she was “on her way,” invariably, as the time comes, she will text saying that she has “something” (wo you shiqing) and can’t make it.<\/p>\n \tI only know of one surefire way around this, once again courtesy of my Chilean roommate. Respond to wo you shiqing with, “Okay. Then I will take back the iPhone I bought you as a gift.” Guaranteed immediate callback. Miraculously, her schedule is clear. Don’t answer until after an hour or so, as if you are busy returning the phone. After she calls back for the tenth time, you’re back on.<\/p>\n \t7. If you can’t speak Chinese and she doesn't speak English \tIn some cities I’ve seen coffee shops that have computers at the table with access to the internet and Google Translate. I’ve also seen cell phone applications that translate spoken words into Chinese, and the converse.<\/p>\n \t8. Bonus ploy: the open house date \tAfter a while I got tired of girls asking about my salary and saying that I need to buy them a house and a car (sometimes during the first date), so I devised a scheme to bait their gold digging tendencies. Unfortunately, I only thought of it at the end of my stint in China and never got a chance to try it.<\/p>\n \tWhen you’ve found a specimen for experimentation, tell her that you are looking to buy a flat in China but that you don’t know anything about Chinese real estate. Ask her if she’ll accompany you to go look at a place. Pick a newly constructed luxury place in a posh district. Memorize vocabulary about plumbing and fenqing. Sell it further by saying things like, “Wouldn’t it be nice to go walking in that park next door after work?” and such nonsense. My guess is that the chick will be delighted the spectacle and that the panties will drop forthwith.<\/p>\n \tIt is my hope that someone is able to pick up the baton here where I left off in this highly scientific research.<\/p>\n \t9. The Dog and Pony Show \tWhen you get one back to your house or hotel room it is then time to take one out of Colin’s playbook and “bulldoze the bitch.” There is no other way about it in China. In fact, what you are about to endure is such a protracted spectacle of farce that an American friend of mine dubbed it “The Dog and Pony Show.” Crack your knuckles and prepare for a two-hour dogfight.<\/p>\n \tYou go in, get a thigh with your hand but the kiss is swatted. “No, no, no,” she says, but still sits there. On the next assault you almost get boobs. “Don’t touch me.” Still doesn’t leave. Make some tea. Come back. Dogfight. Check your emails. Dogfight. Incrementally, and with much persistence and frustration, you’ll finally get her stripped and ready to go.<\/p>\n \tTo conclude, my advice on dating mainland Chinese women: don’t. If you’re in that part of the world go to the Philippines instead. <\/p>\n
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