The Chinese idiom 复水难收 (fu4 shui3 nan2 shou1) literally means water on the ground is difficult to gather up. Unlike most other Chinese idioms, this one has three different stories explaining its origin. Of the three, the most widely accepted is about a divorce case involving Jiang Taigong, one of the most famous strategists in Chinese history.

Jiang, who lived in the late 11th century BC, married a woman named Ma when he was a young scholar and as poor as a church mouse. Jiang was a devoted student of history and military tactics and spent most of the time with his head in his books. After several years of marriage, Ma become disillusioned with her bookworm husband and the constant battle of trying to make ends meet. So, she divorced him and left for what she thought would be greener pastures.

A number of years later, Jiang’s brilliance as a military strategist was discovered King Wen (of the Western Zhou Dynasty, 11th century-771 BC). Despite Jiang’s advanced age (he was in his eighties at this time) he helped King Wen and his successor King Wu unite the kingdom and overthrow the Shang Dynasty (16th century-11th century BC). As a reward, Jiang was appointed prime minister and later Duke of Qi.

After learning of his rapid rise from the ranks, Jiang’s ex-wife reappeared on the scene and came to plead for reconciliation. Jiang responded by taking out a basin of water and throwing it to the ground. He said to his wife

only if you can gather up the split water will I agree to remarry you

Of course, Ma could not gather up the split liquid. She departed and never returned again.

The lesson from this Chinese story is that if one wants to avoid crying over spilt milk, then one must be careful not to make hasty and ill-considered decisions. One might say, you should look before you leap.