Super Simple One liners

Well, not exactly one line, but close enough. These three jokes are meant for young kids, the type of thing you might find on the back of a kid’s cereal box.
Beginner Chinese Reading Practice: Super Simple One LinersThe punchline of the last joke, “I Won’t Let You Die”, hinges on the Chinese slang [verb]死了 sǐle,which doesn’t actually have anything to do with death, but rather means “very”. For example, 饿死了, literally “die from hunger”, means “very hungry”, similar to the English phrase “I’m starving to death!” In this case, the phrase is 高兴死了, “happy to death”, or “very happy”.
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冰糕 – bīng gāo – Popsicle
陪 – péi – To accompany, go with
标签 – biāo qiān – Label
遗失 – yí shī – To lose
自黏 – zì nián – Self-adhesive
多余 – duō yú – Unnecessarily
孝子 – xiào zǐ – Obedient / filial son
儿子: “爸爸,假如有一天我考了全班第一名,您会怎样?”
父亲: “那我一定高兴死了。”
儿子: “爸爸,您这样的担心是多余的,我是孝子,不会让您死的。”

The day started out quite cold, and 5-year-old LiQuan went to the market with his mother. LiQuan wanted his mother to buy him a popsicle to eat, but mama said that eating a popsicle in cold weather would make his little stomach hurt. LiQuan said, “Then buy me a popsicle and we’ll take it back to the house and have grandma heat it up before I eat it.”
Meimei had just begun her first year of school, and she was always losing her school supplies [lit: writing tools, such as pens, pencils, etc.], so her mother went and bought a lot of self-adhesive labels, stuck her [Meimei’s] name on all her things, and told her seriously, “Whatever has your name stuck to it is yours. Now you won’t lose your things, and other people who pick them up can give them back to you.”
Meimei promptly wrote out a label, stuck it on her mother’s cheek, then said to her father and older brother, “Mama is mine now, you can’t take her.”
Son: “Father, if I’m ever first in my class, what would you do?”
Father: “Well, I’d be so happy I’d die!”
Son: “Father, you don’t need to worry unnecessarily, I’m a filial son, I won’t let you die.”

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